The Biggest Criminal in ICP

Watercooler
1

In light of many Conspiracies that have been all over the forums of late, today I am publishing the results of what has been a long and arduous investigation on one of the most Notorious criminals in Blockchain.

image
image523Ă—488 37.3 KB

I know the information I am about to present may be shocking to some of you. Some of you may be angry, that is to be expected. I hope discussions can stay productive so we can get to the bottom of this.

My forensics teams have analyzed the evidence, collected data from hundreds of discussions. We have utilized multiple advanced AI models and have concluded without a shadow of a doubt the following.

Believe it or not, the following accounts were determined with 99.9% certainty to be owned by the same individual.

image
image540Ă—455 108 KB

This individual’s crimes include:

  • dank memes
  • jokes
  • impersonation of VIPs
  • having a luxurious moustache

If you suspect the identity of this individual please contact the gestapo so we can bring them in for questioning immediately.

They are suspected to still be at large and may consider using the following identities or similar:

  • WencilPlayerZer0
  • TheRealWeazel
  • WeaZelChu
  • ImNotJordanIPromiseSeriouslyThisTime

image
image512Ă—512 107 KB

6 Likes
3

I promise I am not Jordan

Love this post :joy:

2 Likes
4

Thank you, let us know if you have any leads.

Remember if you see them do not attempt to approach, they are extremely dangerous. Call @Severin for immediate backup.

1 Like
5

I believe you missed

EnzoPlayerZero

Also I believe Severin is her biggest ally FYI…

6

I know thats the punchline :wink:

7

WHY AM I FLAGGED

Jesus god dammit fix ur forums

1 Like
8

It’s over webtreesoftwaresolut

1 Like
9

Hooorahhh we have been unflagged @WebTreeSoftwareSolut I bet it was my loyal soldier @Severin

1 Like
10

What do goshawks eat anyway?

13

I figured it out after extensive investigation and deep thought. YOU are Jordan @WebTreeSoftwareSolut. The key was realizing that you and Jordan are never in the forum at the same time. Plus you organized all the data in an easy to think about way. Jordan is the full on degen, take no prisoner side and @WebTreeSoftwareSolut is the intellectually honest, spirited debater side.

Now that I figured it out, what do I win?

2 Likes
14

I wish i was that cool

2 Likes
16

This gave me a nice chuckle. Thank you.

2 Likes
19

For the less socially adept readers who flag all my posts (not the ai) im going to help you out here:

Everything written in this thread is called satire. Its not serious nor is it meant to be (obviously). Its posted in a section of the forum relegated for casual conversation and less rules. You are not required to read it and can turn off this section of the forum if you dont like it. @wpb understands this, and does not seem to have a problem with it.

It seems certain community members dont like it when others who are usually on separate sides of issues, laugh together and have conversations like real people instead of arguing with eachother. Interesting… noted.

1 Like
20

My name is @wpb and I approve this message. :wink:

1 Like
21

One last word:

For the actual malicious individuals who wish to sew your seeds of discontent in this community,

You have already failed.

Your army of fud bots cant compete with real organic community members, who will eventually unite against your deceitful tactics.

I aint using chat gippity to write this. It’s all off the dome. Nobody is paying me, I just do it for fun because I want to put a smile on the face of the real members of the community who care.

Theres a storm coming, and you’re powerless to stop it.

1 Like