THE GREAT TENDYS SNS INAUGURATION ADDRESS
Delivered on the Occasion of the Passing of Proposal #139382 — Establishing the Syndicated Networked System of TENDYS
My esteemed holders, sovereign stakeholders of the Sneed-blessed Internet Computer Republic, and noble compatriots in the cause of decentralized poultry—
On this most resplendent evening, beneath the glowing phosphorescence of chain-key cryptography itself, we gather to mark the triumphant ascension of TENDYS, now officially and irrevocably the second meme token in history to join the ranks of the SNS. Let the canisters echo, let the subnets tremble, and let even the boundary nodes murmur softly—
The chicken has prevailed.
I. Tribute to the Founders & Architects of the Fry
Let us begin with profound, unyielding gratitude for the original TENDYS team, whose hands, though humble, forged a token whose destiny would one day surpass mere memehood and enter the halls of decentralized governance. These pioneers, armed with little more than DIP-20 dreams and unshakable conviction, laid the foundation upon which this triumph stands.
We must, with special commendation, bow our heads to Smaug, that venerable titan of the early era, whose gift of Spicypee and the original staking pool marked a dawn of innovation. His contributions, like embers within a midnight hearth, warmed and sustained the community through its earliest, most tremulous trials.
And now…
Before further proclamation…
Before the great clamor of our festivities resumes…
A moment of silence for Corntoshi.
A kernel of a man.
A titan of a spirit.
May his field ever yield.
…
II. On the Boorish, the Miserly, and the Defeated Named Neurons
Now, dear friends, permit me—ever so decorously—to address the named neurons who, in their infinite small-mindedness, rose in dissent against this righteous proposal.
To lorimer and wenzel, that boorish barons of begrudgery;
To Accumulating ICP, that miserly collector of coins and curator of uncharitable conclusions—
Your “No” votes were tallied, your objections were noted, and your schemes—such as they were—fell before the unstoppable march of the chicken. Truly, one must admire your persistence. One must salute your effort. Yet, even so, your attempts to halt the bird resembled nothing so much as a man waving a candle at a hurricane. The chicken did not bow. The chicken did not hesitate. The chicken strode forward, talons gleaming, wings beating, utterly unstoppable.
And thus we say with polite Victorian elegance:
Gentlemen, you have been thoroughly, exquisitely, undeniably overruled.
III. Recounting the Glorious Early Eras
Let us revisit the ancient annals, those early epochs of ICP development, when our chain was in its infancy and the air still smelled faintly of Wasm and untested cycles.
1. The DIP-20 Era
Ah, yes. TENDYS began its journey as the humble DIP-20 meme coin—a creature of chaos yet unrefined, gallant but ungoverned. We recall with fondness those wild frontier days, when transactions were gasping, UI was gasping, and half the community was not entirely sure what ERC-20 even was.
And yet, even then, the spark of greatness flickered.
2. The Grand Migration — From DIP-20 to ICRC-1
Behold the second metamorphosis—the standard swap, facilitated through the SNEED implementation, that vaulted TENDYS from the realm of yesteryear into the standards-compliant modernity of ICRC-1. In that pivotal migration we witnessed the strength of the community, the persistence of its technological shepherds, and the sheer audacity of its meme-powered destiny.
3. The LBP & the Rise of TENDYx
Who among us could forget the fabled Liquidity Bootstrapping Pool event? That grand bazaar of economic intrigue wherein TENDYx—valued nobly at 10 TENDYS—took its place as both symbol and instrument of the protocol’s evolution.
The LBP was not merely a success—
It was a declaration.
A herald.
A promise that the chicken’s time would come.
And now—
The time has come indeed.
IV. Visions for the New Era of Governance
As we stride triumphantly into this new SNS epoch, let the community know that the labor is far from complete.
Behold the next phase of the grand design:
The Governance Swap Canister
We shall erect a swap canister—
A dignified, distinguished vessel—
To allow the faithful to exchange their ICRC-1 TENDYS for Governance TENDYS, ushering in a new era of feathery political participation.
Treasury Transfer Constraints
Patience, noble holders, for the treasury comprises 88,000 TENDYS, and though we are willing spirits, the chains of time and governance impose upon us certain delays.
Transferring the entire trove into the swap canister will take time—
But the deed will be done.
The chicken does not rush, yet the chicken does not falter.
V. Gratitude to the Companions of the Coop
Let us unfurl the scroll of recognition and shower our thanks upon the valiant contributors and steadfast companions whose names are etched into the very feathers of this triumph:
- Psuedostratified
- William
- Asdad
- Vvs
- Shillgates
- Benni Jay
- Brennan Kenparchi
- Baldwolke
- Jordan
- Adam
- Infu
- remcodes
- snass
- bort
- Xander
- Jes
- Hoodboss
- Shillgates
- The wtnerds
- Pan industrial (they are the true champions none of the ancillary tendys/bitcorn projects would exist without their work please clap)
- and once more, in reverent memory, corntoshi
Your counsel, your toil, your maddening unyielding belief in a token based on fried poultry—
Has delivered us unto this day.
VI. Final Proclamation
And now, in the grand piss spirit, let us raise our lanterns, polish our monocles, tighten our waistcoats, and proclaim:
Henceforth, TENDYS shall soar as an SNS—a beacon of decentralized governance, a paragon of meme-driven triumph, and a reminder that no force in crypto, no miserly neuron, no begrudging bureaucrat, may ever halt the march of the chicken.
May all subnets tremble before its flap.
May all ledgers obey its peck.
May the future shine golden—
And ever crispy.
Long live TENDYS.
Long live the Chicken.
Long live the SNS.
